At Peace With Myself

Ugh. My last post talked about resolutions and how I would share them with you. Here I am, 24 days later, still trying to write about my number one goal. Sure, it’s better late than never, but that’s really no excuse for over three weeks of silence. My apologies.

Anyway, my number one goal. Are you ready for this? To be okay with myself.

Inspire with ImperfectionsI’ve screwed up quite a bit in my twenty-some odd years of life, and there are things I regret more than I could ever possibly let you know. In fact, I still struggle with one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make that happened in September of 2013.

It took me a long time to forgive myself for my decision (I’m still working on it), although I felt that it was the best decision for myself and others around me at the time.

When I start feeling awful about things I’ve done, I have to remind myself that I’m human and it’s okay to make mistakes. In fact, I find the following song to be of great comfort when I start being hard on myself:

The song is “Human” by Christina Perri. Sometime we can just be too hard on ourselves because of own views of ourselves or letting someone else’s opinions get the best of us. I have had problems letting go of regrets (and grudges) and forgiving myself for mistakes. Well, it’s time to finally make peace with myself.

There’s no point in going through our lives disliking or even hating ourselves for our decisions. Things work out like they are supposed to in their own time, even though it seems like it can take forever to see it.

I used to have (too much) pent-up depression related to my relationship with my mother. For a very long time, I thought something was wrong with me because my mother raised my older sister but not me. I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t good enough for my mother.

It wasn’t until just a few years ago that I realized it wasn’t through some fault of mine. I had a better life with those who raised me than I would have ever had with my mother and I was loved more than I could have ever imagined. My mom loves me in her own way but we just don’t get along. But that’s a story for another day.

Too often, we all let other people’s opinions get the best of us. I feel like I’ve gotten better at accepting that some people just won’t like me, but I still struggle from time to time. Then I ran across the following saying by Bill Bullard:

“Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding.”

I am Enough.Those words are really powerful for me. Someone’s opinion of you or your decisions can be baseless. People do not need any background information or to understand what you are going through to form an idea of the type of person you are.

People are able to come up with some idea about you without ever knowing anything about you and you don’t owe them anything. People don’t need anything from you to make judgments. And you don’t need their opinions of you to be favorable.

This year, I want to make sure I remember that I am enough. No matter what I do or the situation I face, I am enough. No matter what others think, I am going to do my best to be okay with who I am. We each have our own battles and hard decisions that others will never understand.

And that’s okay.

6 Ways to Keep Those Pesky Resolutions

6 ways to keep those pesky resolutionsWell, the holidays sure did fly by. Christmas always seems to come and go in no time at all. And I guess I’ve finally reached “Christmas Adulthood” this year.

I asked for a paper shredder and a filing cabinet, which I received. When telling my boyfriend what I got, I knew he would make fun of me for my two proudest presents. And what did he say, you ask? “You’re such an adult.” He then proceeded to laugh in my face. Go figure.

Anyway, it’s almost time for 2015 and those wonderful resolutions no one can ever seem to keep up with. To help you along, I’ve compiled a few ways that may help you stick to those pesky goals you’d love to achieve.

  1. Don’t compare your goals with those of others: Comparing yourself to others is a no-no, as is comparing your goals to those of others. You are living your own life and have your own hopes, dreams, and issues. Your life is not the same as someone else’s, so why would your goals need to be similar to someone else’s? You don’t need to try to out-do people either. Live your life and set goals that will improve your own life. In fact, make one of your resolutions to stop comparing yourself to others.
  2. Have someone hold you accountable: Have your significant other or friend or family member or whoever hold you accountable to your goals. Tell them your resolutions and have them check on your progress throughout the year. Having someone hold you accountable will most likely make you want to stick to your goals and should help your motivation when it seems like your goals are out of reach.
  3. Don’t let a minor setback sway you from your goals: Did you set a goal to only eat out once a month and end up going through the drive-thru twice in one week? These things happen. Remind yourself of your goals and get yourself back on track. Did you plan to lose forty pounds this year and you feel like you’ve stuck to your diet long enough and it just doesn’t seem to be helping? Just because you don’t see progress immediately doesn’t mean you aren’t making any. Stick to it. See the next step.
  4. Set goal milestones: You need to celebrate your little victories to help keep you motivated and on track. Break down your big goal for the year into smaller parts and set minor goals for each month or every other month or every six months—however you decide to divide it is up to you. Do you want to put $1,000 into a vacation fund? Set $100 minor goals and do something snazzy when you reach them.
  5. Make your goals specific: This one is pretty self-explanatory. Making your goals specific will help you measure your progress toward your goal. Do you want to save money and lose weight this year? Specify a specific amount of money you want to save and a specific amount of weight you want to lose. Simply stating, “I want to lose weight,” is not going to keep you motivated; you need to set a specific number.
  6. in order to change, you have to focus on the newDo it for you: Most importantly, you need to set goals that you personally want to achieve. Don’t say you want to cook five times a week because your parents told you that you should. If you want to personally cook more homemade meals, then set that goal. Just like you shouldn’t compare your goals to those of others, you shouldn’t set goals that you don’t personally care about. Don’t set a goal because you “think you should.” Set a goal because it will make you feel better in the long run.

I’ll be setting my specific major and minor goals soon and I’ll share them with you when I get them planned out to help with my accountability. I hope you set awesome goals that you want to achieve and that you achieve them (and maybe even surpass them). Feel free to share your own tips in the comments! I wish y’all the best of luck in 2015 in everything you do and wish you all a “Happy New Year!”